"On one side: excitement, excess, stimulation, mystery. On the other: safety, security, comfort, familiarity. Sex, romance, intimacy - all the things promised by finding the right match on an online dating site - drink from both. And so does the very experience of online dating. On the one hand finding a match and getting a lovely email from someone with a hot picture and an intriguing profile provides only a squirt of excitement, however much you may think you want a torrent. But on the other, well, there's not a whole lot at risk. Sitting in your pj-s at your computer in the solitary comfort of your own home is pretty comfortable. You're able to get a charge that is worth it because you are not really putting that much on the line."
From an article in Psychology Today about why online dating sites are designed to be play for our search for romance by creating a "sweet spot" where the possibilities are endless while browsing in the nude comfort of our own home.Despite the integrity of the above publication, for some reason, I'm unable to "buy into" into the harmless myth about online relationships. Yes, I agree that friendships can be forged via the internet. I've met and interacted with some terrific men who are bloggers over broadband, wireless, etc. I've also met some incredible individuals through other electronic connections. Our world is shrinking through interpersonal contacts made online. Those I embrace and support.
But intimacy and romance? I'm not convinced. In my mind, intimacy and romance involve contact - not exclusively sex - between two men. Maybe I'm naive, or just plain stupid, but I don't believe that's possible electronically. The introductions and preliminaries, yes. I think that's doable. And even preferable over all the "dancing through hoops" that leads up to the first date, encounter, hook-up.
But intimacy and romance? That usually requires some emotional, as well as physical, interaction and contact. Call me old-school, but I just can't see how that's possible online. Not with what's needed to nurture and sustain a meaningful, healthy, respectful, mutually satisfying and enduring relationship. No way.
A quick meet for sex and then bounce? Yes.
But then, to each their own.
Peace! Get naked. Enjoy!
6 comments:
I agree. I've "hooked up" with a lot of men online before but it never led to anything emotionally just sex but that's really all I was looking for out of it.
There was a report in a gay paper that I read today that there was a possible murder in South Africa as the result of this kind of dating. A gay man was found dead outside his unit when he was on his way to meet a date he had made over the internet. Love and sex are not the same. Sex can lead to love, and love can leave to sex. But often sex can be just "getting my nuts off" with another guy who I may wish to never see again!
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I just feel online dating in my heart is just to dangerous....I dont want to loose my sperm to a complete stranger in the night and never see him again...and come down with problems....
Sure, I agree with you. I can't say one way or another anything about on line stuff since I have been out of circulation for over 9 years. In my day you had to pick up tricks the old fashion way, either at the bars, baths or tea rooms.
But a good example of on line friendship is the one you and I have and I am so grateful for it.
saludos,
raulito
I agree with you that's why I pick and choose my battle in regards to online dating. IF you go out on dates using it as a medium I found out I can develop that intimacy.
The last photo caught my eyes..... O like the candid pose. His scotum look cute just hang there, and the way his is studying the computer too..... I am naked to this morning.....I love the feeling of being a naked man....
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